The killing of George Floyd on May 25, 2020 sparked a global movement for black lives that extended into the geosciences. Nearly a year later, some momentum has been sustained, but the appetite for transformative change to generate a more equitable geoscience is lacking. In this commentary, I detail my struggles to balance science, activism, and anguish as a black geoscientist in Minneapolis over the last year. I suggest that a riskier and deeper involvement in the work of equity and inclusion is necessary to transform our discipline into a diverse, equitable, and inclusive space where all people can thrive.